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Monday, 4 April 2016

Whakapapa

Description in class we have been writing our family on a peace of paper in Maori and English hears more info ⬇️

Feedback I think you did well on making it clear so the reader could read. Finis
Feedforward Next time you could add more to your family tree,

Camp went wrong

Description: in poutuma we had to choose a writing in our writing book then we had to make a writing portfolio post hears mine for more information 

CAMP WENT WRONG
Hi I'm Tayla and this is how it started. YAY where finally there. First we line up and go to the hall and have brunch. Then we go to our cabin and make our beds. Next we go bake to the hall everyone is yelling and screaming then Elly comes in and whistles no one listens Elly said "this is a  disaster" then Nic says "FREE TIME" really loud. "Oho" says Elly "what" says Nic and Troy "um we forgot to tell them the out of bounds areas" says Elly. "O-no this can't be happening on the first day" says Troy "we have to round them up" says Nic "THERS A FREE DISNEY LAND TIKET FIRST ONE TO GET IT KEEPS IT" says Nic everyone comes he was just joking though he said that so everyone would come when everyone is in we locked the doors so now one could get out everyone was quite now we can finally start suddenly ring ring dinner time. ELLY says that was a disaster. It's nice and quiet hear. suddenly food fight everyone starts pretending that there spoons are sling shotes and slinging there peas and mash potatoes at each other. Then suddenly YOU GUYS ARE GETTING KICKED OUT NOW PACK YOUR STUFF AND GO. 
feedback:Great job it's a really interesting story. Feedforward: Maybe you should go over your writing and edit it. Telaina